Hanneke Cost Budde

April 7
“Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone!
Because I know He holds the future,
And live is worth the living , just because He lives!”

Easter is around the corner and this chorus has been playing in my head during these past few weeks. It is so comforting and encouraging to know that Jesus is alive! I wish you all a very blessed Easter!
Since my last news letter much has happened. Christmas seems a long way away now. Our celebrations were very nice but simple. We decorated our tree and made our home look festive. Each one received some money to buy themselves some clothes. They really did well with their shopping. Daniel was the only one who received a few presents.
Then on New Years Day I had an unexpected visitor: Baraka called me to speak with this man who told me that Baraka had borrowed money from him and he wanted it back. This has happened before and I had bailed Baraka out that time but letting him know that as he is an adult I am no longer responsible for his actions and I was not going to pay any of his debts again. I told this man that this issue was between him and Baraka.
Baraka had to go to court and was ordered to pay with a fine. As he had no way of paying is he took off. I was able to connect with him late that evening. He came home the next day. I had a long talk with him to let him know that if he got a police record he will never get a job. I did bail him out one last time. He promised he wouldn’t do it again.
I was so upset that I spend New Years day cleaning up all the Christmas decorations just to clear my mind.
Christina, Mfaume, Faraja and Jacky with Daniel were all home. Jacky has a new boyfriend who let me know that he and his family are wanting to come to discuss the marriage arrangements. They were planning to come in March but now they will come at the end of April. This is another big issue as the two have only met by phone! Jacky is been receiving counselling regarding her P.T S. due to all the abuse she had received at the family who were planning to adopt her. She also had not come to terms with having her child and the desertion of the guy who got her pregnant.
The counselling has helped a bit and she is on some very expensive medicine for six months to help with depression. We are all happy to see some improvement. She was no longer singing and looked unhappy. Now she sings again and is doing better with Daniel. She has trouble not giving in to him and he often starts whining…..something I really dislike! So, I would tell him to speak with a normal voice…This is starting to sink in and Jacky is doing better with him.
In January, Mahona came home and needed treatment for his skin cancer. Dr. Kathryn had given me medicines for this. During the time that he was home, about four weeks, Faraja helped him with applying the special cream. Then he received the news that he finally has a contract as a Secondary school teacher in Dodoma! Praise God!
In February I had my good friend Cynthia, from Peterborough, Canada, come for a 2-week visit. What a joy! We had a great time and went for 3 days to Mwanza where we stayed at a nice hotel with a swimming pool. Their food was not very good (Being nice!) but we were in walking distance from a great hotel overlooking Lake Victoria with great food for a reasonable price.
Baraka had come home with the news that he was chosen with some other students to participate in a debate between different High Schools in Tabora. I received an official looking letter from his school. There were fees to be paid for his participation and for meals during training sessions. About $600/- Can. I even received a call from the “headmaster” of the school where this debate was to be held…..alas, all of it was fake!
The truth was that he had driven a borrowed Prado land cruiser with some of his friends and got into an accident, almost hitting a child and wrecking the vehicle. This debate scam was to get money to help pay for the damages. I did not sleep well for some time. With Baraka doing things like this he is putting us in some predicament as the community will become involved and I would be held accountable for his misbehavior.
Baraka was with me under foster care, but now that he is a young adult he is no longer under Foster Care. We went to Social Services and they let Baraka know that I am no longer responsible for his actions. They advised me to send him away as soon as he has finished his High School. I am still processing this and praying for God’s wisdom regarding him and his future. He promised me he will change. I am not convinced that he will, and I told him that his actions speak louder than words.
For now, I am feeling quite disappointed in him and somewhat tired.
I am happy that Kiri (Christina) has become much more mature and when she noticed that I was tired she told me to just sit down and she cooked the meal. So lovely! She has to move to another college for her animal health studies as her previous college had not sent the students exam results to the department of education. After a long and stressful process, she did receive her transcript.
Faraja always said that he wanted to get into engineering. Now he is looking for another study. He succeeded with very high marks in Secondary School but so far he isn’t willing to go to High School.
Mfaume is home after he finished his final exam in pharmaceutical studies. He is always cheerful and helpful. However, he was not quite open about him wanting to go back to Dar es Salaam for his licensing exam. This is not necessary as all students who are to do this exam can do it anywhere and need to prepare by studying their previous exam papers and other things which they can find on the internet. He has left everything in his room that I pay rent for. Now he does need to go back to get all his stuff. I let him know that I was not happy in that I feel that he is trying to force me to pay more rent as well as for his food and  water. I will help him pay to go to Dar, pick up all his things and give him a week in Dar, so he can talk with students and teachers to get some input regarding what he needs to prepare for this licensing exam.
In March both Jacky and Kiri announced that they wanted to be baptized and they are attending classes in order to prepare for this big day. God is so good!!
They will be baptized just before Easter!
I am looking forward to some time out and booked my flight to Toronto, and my return via Holland so I can visit my family.
I am planning to be back in Tanzania at the beginning of August, as Kiri, Faraja and maybe Baraka are to start their new studies and Mfaume is to do his licensing exam .
I do want to thank every one of you who is supporting me in prayers as well as financially!! Your prayers are what keeps me together and your finances help out with unexpected expenses for the kids and for some needy people in my area.
I know that for some of you the finances are a real sacrifice, especially during the upheaval and economic instability all over the world. At this time your prayers are most needed, especially regarding Baraka and Jacky. And for me: The Lord’s wisdom in all of this!
Thanks again and may the Lord bless each one of you. I hope and pray that we will soon see each other in person once again!